Thoughts on The Spooky Art by Norman Mailer - Part 1

This isn’t even a book review, as just a few reflections on some very interesting anecdotes.

I was loaned this book by Netna Ngyuen, and good friend of mine whom shares an interest in the literary world, and told to plunge its depths for some treasured motivation, a commodity I am consistently lacking.

It’s fantastic work so far. It is not literary genius, but rather a one-way conversation with a brilliant and experienced writer. The insights he has afforded so far have been delectable. Certain adages he serves up have wonderfully edified many of my own infantile theories regarding the truths of the industry. I have taken these as a sign that I am on the right track. Though I hesitate to be too presumptuous in my understanding of these things, for if I am a writer, than I am one who produces very little for all his mental rhetoric.

A particular succinct paragraph defined every writer as a closet philosopher. Such a sentiment ringed in such a harmony with my own mind; I felt myself flutter a little (though I would hardly call myself ‘closet’.) I think it is part of why I take stock in my own endeavour. Written form cannot be removed from the source that motivated its birthing, and the ideas that push me to write are great pearls of wisdom, handed down by giants, purged and refined by the great fires of reason. I have no doubt of their relevance, their potential; they have been proved many times over. It is merely my ability to convey them that now comes under trial.

One particular chapter that I have found quite relevant explores in depth the rewriting of his final draft for the novel The Deer Park. There are fundamentals of novel writing that he explores in such frank terms that I hope will do much to save myself from making similar mistakes. In particular he alludes to the writing style of the novel, which is narrated in the first person and how initially it failed to reconcile with the nature of the protagonist, and his significance in the plot.
These insights are really opening up the world of fiction writing to me, making it tangible and less alien.

It is worth mentioning that I have read none of his works, though I am now inspired to. He does however have credentials to his name, and so far it is on these wherein I hold my respect for his words. I look forward to approaching his works with his memoirs in mind, as I feel it will give me a more complete understanding of his lifetime as a writer.

This book I think will do much to set me on my journey. I shall share more reflections upon further readings. I will not be going through the book too systematically, as the book is itself far from systematic. I will probably just 'go with the flow' on this one.

Me and Bec - Part 1: Marriage

It is probably worth beginning with something that has played a significant role in my life over the last couple of years, something that has forced me to grow and learn more than any other single experience, and something that I feel needs so much more clarity and honesty surrounding it.

That thing would be my marriage, and marriage in general.

I feel that talking about marriage in its own right is an insufficient endeavour, especially in light of what the word has come to define in our day and age, because for my wife and I, marriage is to serve our relationship, and the needs therein, and not the other way around, and I would go as far to say that our the current depth and beauty of our relationship is so whole and complete, that the term marriage is less relevant and not so necessary, (at least to us. The term has social descriptive function). We don’t need the defined roles and conventions of that institution anymore to define what maturity and growth in our relationship looks like.

So when I talk about my marriage, in earnest I merely speak to the relationship between my beautiful wife and me. But I will continue to use the term, as I feel my experience of it has indeed taught me much about what the term means as a contract or institution, and definitively changed my view regarding its usage.

I think if I were to speak generally, and sum up my thoughts on the matter, it would be to say that I am far less interested in marriage, then I am in honest and sincere relationships, and that marriage only remains relevant to me in the way that it serves the latter. If it succeeds in doing so, then I am for it, but such is not always the case.

To speak from my experience, the act of marriage, or perhaps even the decision to be married signified a commitment to our relationship. For a long time my commitment was wavering and in the act of proposing I solidified and decided upon that commitment for myself.

Unusually enough this is not necessarily the norm. People enjoy committed relationships with the need to signal or institutionalize such actions. And many people who do partake in marriage do so out of a desire to celebrate as opposed to affirm/commit. There is no prescriptive way to define what every marriage is, because what marriage is comes down to who’s in it.

And this I think is one of my biggest ‘beefs’ with more religious and traditional conventions of marriage; you can’t be prescriptive with relationships. People are too complicated and volatile to overly predefine them in the roles of husband and wife, especially as espoused by the more traditional and conservative views of marriage. And the expectations and standards that marriage demands of sexual expression is so unrealistic and short-sighted that from me it demands another whole post.

There is so much in the way of advice when it comes to Christian Marriage, which is the guise upon which me and my wife entered our bond, and I would argue that most of it is rubbish, for weak minds and personalities, and that screening the mountains of books for the few pearls of wisdom in between would be far too cumbersome a task.

(I occasionally read examples of what they consider to be a fulfilling relationship and I balk. They might be functional, but they are far from optimal.) Generally speaking they tend to be overly prescriptive, and whilst that can serve as a guide for many couples, I think that most (though not all) should have the maturity and intelligence to negotiate the roles between them themselves.

Marriage isn’t the end all of a relationship. Things matter more than a marriage, namely the relationship of the people in it, and just like any other relationship, they can suck big time. I have seen unions that have taken brilliants minds and personalities and anchor them down in mediocrity, and that is indeed marriage in its saddest form.

To sum up these scattered musings on marriage in our society:

Don’t worry about marriage, worry about the healthy and honest relationships.

If marriage helps you in this, with each other, with family, and/or with friends then by all means use it, but that is up to you and your partner(s).

To turn more inwardly and personal, I will now speak to my own marriage.

I will begin with a declaration of how incredible my wife is.

Bec is the love of my life, and my relationship with her now goes beyond the need for any convention. We have a commitment to help each other become the best that either of us can be, and I could not ask for a better partner to undertake that adventure with. No one knows me more fully, and there is little I fear to hide from her, even those things that I am tempted to hide from myself.

It is a relationship that I do not see mirrored much elsewhere. Though some might consider this to be a mean-spirited observation I will not shy from it. I have witnessed in my life many partnerships, many of which are highly successful, but few seem to contain this dedication to growth and maturity, this willingness to be so open and sincere, and were I not in it, I’d probably have difficulty believing that such intimacy between two people could exist.

But I must emphasize that reach such an incredible level of intimacy has been an incredibly difficult journey, requiring much introspection and growth on both our parts.

In fact it is difficult to recount the journey of our relationship without also accounting for the many experiences and introspection that lead to our own individual maturity and growth, as the two are so entwined for us.

I will begin with what so far has been the most important aspect in my next post.

For the Introduction and Contents Page Click Here.

Me and Bec: Introduction and Contents

I have decided to write series of posts reflecting on the relationship I have with my spouse, the lovely Rebecca Thackray. I found that a lot of insight can be found in the testimony of others relationships, and by exploring the dynamics of theirs I have been able to improve my own.

It is my hope that whoever reads this might find something useful in it for their own relationships. Regardless, I have found it helpful to chronicle these things for the sake of clarity in my own mind.

I shall update the contents page as I finish each section.

to chronicle these things for the sake of clarity in my own mind.

I shall update the contents page as I finish each section.

Contents:

1. Marriage
2. The Sex Part
3. Dealing with Reality
4. Growth Together
5. What we are
6. Conclusion

Tough Mudder!

Check out what my wife and I are getting ourselves into come March 31st!

I've been busy as a bee trying to get into shape for this. I'm still struggling to finish even running 10km let alone 15 with obstacle courses! But I'm determined, I will get there.

I'm really excited about conquering this. Whilst I've never been afraid of physical exercise, I've never really embraced it head on, and put myself through something really challenging. This is an opportunity for me to test my will and prove to myself that I have the discipline and focus to achieve my goals.

It's such a raw and primal challenge, and I can't wait to grit it out like some type of Rocky movie, just filling up with testosterone and YAWPING like a barbarian! Like a Spartan! Grrrrrrrr....

They run events in every state, as you can find on the website.

If you'd like to join me and my wife's team, you can find that here

Introducing the Blog of Michael Thackray

Initially I was going to launch this journal with a memoir on my past few years. However as I launched on this endeavour I found that there was far too much too write in one post.

The contents of these times are enough to fill vast books. I could write endlessly on the experiences I’ve had, the lessons I’ve endured, the sacrifices and gains I have made. Indeed every attempt to capture something into written form left me frustrated at my own inability to comprehensively cover all that I felt needed covering. Even deciding where even to begin was a challenge that felt beyond my abilities.

Thus I have deemed to take a more realistic approach. I currently lack the tools to sort these thoughts so neatly and completely, but perhaps I can capture them when they present themselves with clarity, and share them as they come, and in that might I chronicle something that may be of use to you, whoever you are reading this.

I will not only be reflecting on the experiences of my life thus far. Soon begins my foray into the learned world of writing. I have enrolled in the course of Professional Writing and Editing with the University of Ballarat. It is my hope that this will open up the literary world to me, and provide to me the structure and discipline to pursue my writing ambitions more convincingly. It is one of the underlying reasons I have sought to create this blog; to have a virtual word dojo to practice in. Hopefully I will witness the maturation and strengthening of my words.

In any case though, it might refine my thoughts and reasoning, and that is a noble enough reason for this endeavour. Be warned though! For in doing so I will respect naught but what is reasonable enough to of earned it. I will adopt no offense as my problem.

So welcome! This is my online diary, where I will reflect on the past, clarify my thoughts, share my experiences and above all write! Write like a Boss!

Also just as a quick note, my previous failures at online blogging can be found here.
These posts are old and inconsistent however, and I leave them to collect dust.

Edit:
I will be looking to update tri-weekly. No promises though.