I wrote resurrection a while ago...

Months before I posted it actually.

But this I wrote today.

Today I was riled up with righteous anger. That hasn't happened to me in a long time. And as usual it comes in the form of wanting people to discover how stupid they are and making them smarter. Alas achieving such a task is tricky even at the best of times.

The problem with this energy though is that I don't have any healthy outlets for it. I don't see enough people I can really engage with on any meaningful level, and facebook can be a dangerous place for such discourse. Perhaps I need to email people more. That is probably the most healthy option.

I think its a challenge that I need to spend more time dwelling upon, and pouring some energy into. I think the task is somewhat daunting though, which naturally progresses towards apathy. But I must remember that change is often gradual, and that I must take pleasure in all my little accomplishments.

Resurrection

I return to the keyboard.

Stay a while and listen.

I'm tired already just thinking about what to put up here. I feel like I have everything and nothing to say in this particular space. How do I clean out the cobwebs?

I'll address some of  my last posts. Then afterwards I'll put up some recent articles I launched into the void of facebook.

I feel better.
This depression sucked the big one but I think it got some things done. Brought some clarity into what was becoming a very hazy place. I feel in control in a way I haven't before. I feel like I've got options. Its a nice feeling.
Anyway I'm back to who I was, albeit less hopeful and ambitious. I think that's okay. I think it might be normal to wake up and realize how ordinary you are. I'm at peace with that. I can totally live with not being special, provided I'm enjoying myself at the time.

Its been 7 months now in Ballarat. I don't know what to make of it but I'm tired of trying. Just one day at a time.
I'm tired of reflecting. tired of trying to narrate the random sequence of events that is my life. Its a poor habit that doesn't get much done.
And I'm exhausted of not getting much done. I want to get something done. Anything.

A job just sounds glorious to me right now. Any old thing. To just work, earn money, and have some control to do things. Its amazing to me that that is really all I aspire to do right now. Forget the future, forget writing, forget journalism, forget changing the world. Just give me a job with some money and I'll be content.

Anyway what a useless post to comeback with. I'm not going to post this until I've written up something worthwhile.

The patter of the keyboard is refreshing though.