progressive thoughts

I'm updating a lot less. I guess that reflects a lot of the change I've been undergoing lately.

I've re-evaluated a lot of my ambitions. I think Ballarat hit me with a large dose realism. The main being that I have untenable laziness, that will sabotage me as long as I let it. This has been an extremely difficult thing to realize. I always knew it was there, but the degree with which it impaired me was a surprise.
Coming to terms with all that and its implications, as well as being in Ballarat, and trying to settle in and meet people and have a new life, and find a job, and well...all that crap has been exhausting.

But I've started somewhat afresh. From scratch in a sense. Sort of what I should've been doing 3 months ago. I'm much more tentative about what I'm capable of, and so I'm just building things up slowly, and just trying to make new things happen.

New things:

LARF volunteer work. Fortnightly I'll (hopefully) be joining a youth group for troubled kids. Possibly weekly in the future. Yet to be determined. I've been doing training at the moment, and I've been super impressed with the establishment so far. The coordinator is an extremely focused individual, who sets a high bar but gives you all the resources and support to reach it. The training has been super comprehensive, and even though I've had a lot of experience with youth groups and camps etc I was encountering things I had to re-think, or just hadn't even though of. Its thorough and direct, and I'll say again that I am super impressed by it. I'm excited to see where this goes, and that I have a positive way to use my time that will benefit others, but also allow me to connect with others, especially people who are doing volunteer work.

I'm considering joining the army reserve. I lack discipline and this is something that will shove a boot up my ass. If I can't defeat this laziness it will plague me for the rest of my life, and I feel like this is a way I can deal with it, whilst also serving my country, picking up heaps of skills and throw myself into something new and exciting.
Still giving it thought but the more I think about it, the more keen I am.

Bec mentioned baby-fostering. That's insane when I think about it, but also really exciting. I feel like Bec and I could be really good at that type of job, especially Bec with her passion and knowledge when it comes to baby development. We only really talked a little about it tonight, but I think its something we'll definitely mull over some more.

I'm letting a lot of things slide. Case in point is this blog. I will update when I want, but beyond that whatever. I've spent too much time planning, and aiming, and not nearly enough time doing. I'm just going to do what I want to do, in the immediate, and then see where that leads me, rather than think I should do this or that. I'm simplifying I guess.

So, thats about it. a lot of me is changing but I feel more positive about it this time round. Its change I really believe in. its plausible. and that feels good.