1.
Day 2 of writing about a page of material. There's no word count on this site so I figure ~page works.
Still hard not to feel like a wind-sock. I need to give some more thought as to how to actually engage people. Writing itself I think is important; journaling and what not. Even reading back the posts here from yonks ago has been good. It allows me to get a bigger perspective on myself I think.
But the big drive for me is engagement. I miss connecting with people in this way, and I want to do it again but preferably in a more sensitive and intelligent manner. Not in the desire to be more amiable though. I just want to be more deliberate and considered in my provocations.
2.
Uni really stressed me out yesterday. I think a mix of things had kind of built up a lot of pressure and it was hard to get my head out of it. Today I started at 10 and have worked now till 6:00 and feel a lot more relaxed about the whole thing. Its hard to gauge I think, especially because the level of work and requirements as such tend to vary across the semester and across semesters. Balancing it with work sucks. I don't like work.
I think what really crunched things up was just that it felt all a bit out of my control; I really struggle with that. I relish my agency. More than relish. I need it. And a big part of that is keeping balance in my life, and at the moment with all that's going on balance tends to be tipping in imabalances' favour.
3.
Because of said business not a lot on the mind. I use to feel kind of bad about that; like I should be writing non-stop. But who cares. I think the advice of PC as been most effective. Employing a regime will ensure that when there are things worth writing they'll come out and get captured. And not being perfect. At all.
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